RANDOM STORY 7: The Box

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The doorbell rang. Bob and Lucinda raced to the door. There on the doorstep was an enormous, ugly box. What could be inside? They casually walked the box into thekitchen. Lucinda excitedly put her toe close to the box. She thought she heard a voice whisper, “Holy Saint Frances!!”

“Hurry. Open the box!” screamed Bob. To their amazement, Elizabeth VIII leaped out of the box and started singing “You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift.” There was nothing else to do but sing along.

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RANDOM STORY 6: Limited Time Only!

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For a Limited Time Only!

Hi, I'm Hannah Montana, and I want to tell you all about the new pie.

Have you seen the new pie? It's fantastic! It will keep and keep with no problems at all. To use the pie, all you need are a few dogs. Yes, folks, it's that easy.

Tired of always having to go to the gym? Well, now you can relax and let the wonderfulpie do all the work.

Our customers love the pie!

Helen Clark said, “After using the pie, I'll never go back to using the food. Why bother?”

This wonderful pie is available at any store that also sells sheep. For a limited time, we are including a bonus hamburger with each pie that you purchase. That's right, folks. Buy the pie and get the hamburger absolutely free!

We are also running a contest. The next 100 people who buy a(n) pie will be entered in a contest to win a lifetime supply of cats!

Visit your local Wal Mart and pick up the pie. Act now, while supplies last!

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RANDOM STORY 5: A Modern Cinderella

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A Modern Cinderella

My name is Cyndi and I live in a big house with my stepmother, Demi Lovato, and my two stepsisters, Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift. The old tale about stepfamilies beingawesome is just silly! Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, and Taylor Swift are absolutely awesome! In fact, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, and I went to a dance last weekend. It was cool!

At the dance, I wore my mini skirts and my diamond studded earrings. Selena Gomez,Taylor Swift, and I met this really gross guy named Zac Efron. He was ugly because he was the president of the Baseball club, and he wore a great Jeans. I had a scratchy time talking with him.

I had a scratchy time, but I forgot my dress at the dance. Luckily, Zac Efron brought it back to our house. First, Selena Gomez tried it on, and it didn't match her beautiful style. It looked really sparkly! Then Taylor Swift tried it on, and it was obviously not hers either. But then I tried it on, and it fit me perfectly! I thanked Zac Efron and invited him to stay for a snack of salmon. We have a lot in common. Who would have thought that a lost dress would lead to a new friend?

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RANDOM STORY 4: Today's Horoscopes

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Today's Horoscopes

Aries — Ram (March 21-April 19)
Someone you know may be feeling mystical. Stay out of the way!

Taurus — Bull (April 20-May 20)
Don't scream in public. It could prove embarrassing.

Gemini — Twins (May 21-June 20)
Control the urge to be a normal person. Be posh instead.

Cancer — Crab (June 21-July 22)
If you eat one pie too many while blinking vigorously it will leave you exhausted!

Leo — Lion (July 23-August 22)
A loved one thinks you are beautiful. Do not be taken in by flattery.

Virgo — Virgin (August 23-September 22)
quit in private when possible. It's difficult to concentrate when people are watching.

Libra— Scales (September 23-October 22)
Avoid yelling at the magic within.

Scorpio — Scorpion (October 23-November 21)
Never loan money to angry hobos! They are poor credit risks.

Sagittarius — Archer (November 22-December 21)
Today is a good day to eat a(n) table.

Capricorn — Goat (December 22-January 19)
You may receive some old firewood from a secret admirer! Water them every day, and they will last a long time.

Aquarius — Water Bearer (January 20-February 18)
Unless you organize your McDonalds coupons better, you won't get anything done.

Pisces — Fish (February 19-March 20)
A good friend will give you $1.874 to buy new hamburgers. Be sure to thank your friend.

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RANDOM STORY 3: Tongue Twisters

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Tongue Twisters

Say each one ten times fast!

The S Twister

A stupid sasquatch screamed sock on the sail boat.

The H Twister

The happy, horrible ham danced with a huge, hairy hamburger.

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RANDOM STORY 2: Up close and Personal

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Welcome to The Sarah Show! Tonight Sarah will be interviewing Jesse Mcartney.

Sarah: And here's my first guest now. Glad you could join us tonight, Jesse Mcartney. Having you on the show makes me feel gross!

Jesse Mcartney: It makes me feel gross, too, Sarah! It's lovely of you to invite me.

Sarah: There's been a lot of ugly talk about your trip to Tenesse with Taylor Swift. In fact, in today's The Herald, Amanda Frip wrote a column about your trip.

Jesse Mcartney: I read it, but that reporter made up the whole story. Taylor Swift and I have never even been to Tenesse. In fact, we haven't been out of Mississippi for99999999999999999,9999999999,9999999999,9999999999999999999999999999999.1years.

Sarah: Sounds like you were framed.

Jesse Mcartney: That's right. What else would you like to know?

Sarah: Is it true that you own more than 0 dogs?

Jesse Mcartney: I do own dogs, but only two.

Sarah: Well folks, we're out of time. Thanks, Jesse Mcartney. I really enjoyed huggingwith you!

Jesse Mcartney: I enjoyed hugging with you, too!

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RANDOM STORY 1: All A Dream

THIS STORY HAS BEEN GENERATED BY A STORY GENERATOR AT http://www.eduplace.com/tales/ .

I fell asleep yesterday listening to an old album that my mom had. I really enjoyed it, though I had a weird dream. It was kind of like one of the old songs.

I've been workin' in Kawau Island,
All the lovely day.
I've been workin' in Kawau Island,
Just to pass the time away.
Don't you hear the whistle licking?
Rise up so early in the morn.
Don't you hear Hannah Montana shouting
“Hailey, crammed your horn? ”

Hailey, won't you crammed,
Hailey, won't you crammed,
Hailey, won't you crammed your horn?
Hailey, won't you crammed,
Hailey, won't you crammed,
Hailey, won't you crammed your horn?

Someone's in the bathroom with Hailey.
Someone's in the bathroom, I know.
Someone's in the bathroom with Hailey
Strumming on the old harmonica.

It was the weirdest dream I've had in a long time!

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