Showing posts with label Random Stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random Stories. Show all posts

Monday, February 14, 2011

Princess Bride Madlib

Return to a time when men were Buckets and swamps were Pickles. Pink Swamps, that is. Full of lightning-Dorritos and Rabbits of Unusual Shoe. Lagoons were inhabited byRunning eels. And the most Chewy woman in the world was named... Bob Pinkerton (The 4th)? Well, it`s a bent Chinchilla tale. Complete with all the fencing, Walking, escapes, and Cheesey accents you`d expect. Including such unique folk as Immogen So-Not-Spanish Montoia, who has dreamt his whole Chair of finding the 1-fingered man who Screamed his father, and his Fluffy sidekick, Fezzig. And don`t forget theDisgusting miracle man, Max. Blonde Bob Pinkerton (The 4th) loves Westley, a poorTeacher. But when he`s captured by CDs, she`s chosen by evil Arch ChancellorHumperdinck to be his princess bride. Along the way, she gets Tamed by the Dread CDRoberts, the spaniard gets his wish, and Humperdinck turns out to be a Pencil.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Nursery rhyme persuasive writing... I DOES IT

so I do a persuasive writing ayup
POSTPOSTPOST - here ya go XDD :D

Everyday thousands of them are read around the globe to children everywhere, but what are we really reading? That’s right I’m talking about nursery rhymes. Have you ever wondered about what these poems we recite so much off by heart actually mean? Did you know that most nursery rhymes originate from historical events such as black plague, slavery, death and injury? Three blind mice being chased by the the farmers wife who wields a carving knife, silver bells and cockle shells in Mary’s garden, a ring of rosies and a pocket full of posies.
These seem to be silly nonsensical verses which are fun and appeal to children but the truth is that many nursery rhymes have a dark side. I’m strongly opposed to nursery rhymes being told to children. What messages are being sent to our kids and siblings? 
Here are some of our favourite classic nursery rhymes and the darker meaning behind them, take “Ring around the Rosie’” for example. 
“Ring-a-ring-a-roses
A pocket full of posies,
Ashes! Ashes!
We all fall down.”
This is supposedly referring to the Great Plague of London in 1665. The rash you would get (“roses”), herbs and spices to “purify” the air (“posies”), and finally sneezing and dying (“we all fall down”). This rhyme is also said to be sang by children during the European Black Death of 1347. The “ring” referring to the red spot that you would have if you had the disease. This ranks 9th place on the “Top ten Nursery Rhymes” national Booktrust list in the UK which surveyed around 2,500 people to find out the nations favourite nursery rhymes.
Another one of our favourite poems gone horribly wrong, “Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary” about a little girl who tends to her flower garden decorating it with beautiful silver bells and sea shells? Sounds nice doesn’t it?
 But sadly the Mary in this story actually refers to Mary Tudor (Mary I of England) also known as Bloody Mary. Mary was a Catholic and known to have killed many Protestants. England at the time was divided by the two religions.
“Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells and pretty maids all in a row”
It’s been said that the garden refers to the growing cemeteries as she kills Protestants. Silver bells and cockle shells were instruments of torture and “pretty maids” were devices used to behead people, just a coincidence perhaps?
 She was also said to have inspired the “Three Blind Mice” rhyme about three Protestant bishops that plotted against her. When she discovered this she had them tortured and killed. The bishops were portrayed as the mice in the poem blinded by Mary’s weapons of torture. Luckily these gruesome tales don’t have a rankings on the most popular nursery rhymes list. 
How about this.. ever listen to the words of the poem, “Clementine”? This poem is downright sinister even without a hidden meaning.
“Oh my darling, oh my darling,
Oh my darling Clementine,
Thou art lost and gone forever,
Dreadful sorry, Clementine.
Drove the ducklings to the water,
Ev’ry morning just at nine,
Hit her foot against a splinter,
Fell into the foaming brine.
Ruby lips above the water,
Blowing bubbles soft and fine,
But alas, I was no swimmer,
Neither was my Clementine.
In a churchyard near the canyon,
Where the myrtle doth entwine,
There grow some rosies and some posies,
Fertilized by Clementine.”
Now that is just nasty! Flowers fertilized by a dead girl? Are you seriously going to sing this to children? This song or poem is said to be the words of a lover singing about the daughter of a miner in the 1849 California Gold Rush. He loses her when she drowns in a freak accident and in the real version results to Clementine’s little sister except that verse is usually left out of children’s books replaced by something else because it doesn’t seem morally appropriate. Apparently having Clementine’s dead body fertilize the soil around her grave is morally appropriate.
Are you really going to read these horrible poems to your young children and siblings? Practically encouraging them to sing about death and disaster? So... who really killed cock robin? I did mummy! It was fun!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Do I Look Good with Short Blonde Hair???


My granny has breast cancer and is taking chemotherapy so she's lost all her hair so she got a wig, and I tried it on!!! so... what do you think? Do I look good with short, blonde hair??? YOU DECIDE!!! (leave your "votes" in the comments section below!!!)

Saturday, January 2, 2010

RANDOM STORY 7: The Box

THIS GENERATED STORY WAS GENERATED AT http://www.edulplace.com/tales/


The doorbell rang. Bob and Lucinda raced to the door. There on the doorstep was an enormous, ugly box. What could be inside? They casually walked the box into thekitchen. Lucinda excitedly put her toe close to the box. She thought she heard a voice whisper, “Holy Saint Frances!!”

“Hurry. Open the box!” screamed Bob. To their amazement, Elizabeth VIII leaped out of the box and started singing “You Belong With Me by Taylor Swift.” There was nothing else to do but sing along.

HOPE YOU LIKED THIS www.eduplace.com TALE!

RANDOM STORY 6: Limited Time Only!

THIS GENERATED STORY HAS BEEN GENERATED AT http://www.eduplace.com/tales/

For a Limited Time Only!

Hi, I'm Hannah Montana, and I want to tell you all about the new pie.

Have you seen the new pie? It's fantastic! It will keep and keep with no problems at all. To use the pie, all you need are a few dogs. Yes, folks, it's that easy.

Tired of always having to go to the gym? Well, now you can relax and let the wonderfulpie do all the work.

Our customers love the pie!

Helen Clark said, “After using the pie, I'll never go back to using the food. Why bother?”

This wonderful pie is available at any store that also sells sheep. For a limited time, we are including a bonus hamburger with each pie that you purchase. That's right, folks. Buy the pie and get the hamburger absolutely free!

We are also running a contest. The next 100 people who buy a(n) pie will be entered in a contest to win a lifetime supply of cats!

Visit your local Wal Mart and pick up the pie. Act now, while supplies last!

HOPE YOU LIKED THIS www.eduplace.com TALE!

RANDOM STORY 5: A Modern Cinderella

THIS IS A STORY GENERATED USING THE GENERATOR AT http://www.eduplace.com/tales/


A Modern Cinderella

My name is Cyndi and I live in a big house with my stepmother, Demi Lovato, and my two stepsisters, Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift. The old tale about stepfamilies beingawesome is just silly! Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, and Taylor Swift are absolutely awesome! In fact, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, and I went to a dance last weekend. It was cool!

At the dance, I wore my mini skirts and my diamond studded earrings. Selena Gomez,Taylor Swift, and I met this really gross guy named Zac Efron. He was ugly because he was the president of the Baseball club, and he wore a great Jeans. I had a scratchy time talking with him.

I had a scratchy time, but I forgot my dress at the dance. Luckily, Zac Efron brought it back to our house. First, Selena Gomez tried it on, and it didn't match her beautiful style. It looked really sparkly! Then Taylor Swift tried it on, and it was obviously not hers either. But then I tried it on, and it fit me perfectly! I thanked Zac Efron and invited him to stay for a snack of salmon. We have a lot in common. Who would have thought that a lost dress would lead to a new friend?

HOPE YOU LIKED THIS www.eduplace.com TALE!

RANDOM STORY 4: Today's Horoscopes

THIS IS A GENERATED STORY GENERATED FROM http://www.eduplace.com/tales/


Today's Horoscopes

Aries — Ram (March 21-April 19)
Someone you know may be feeling mystical. Stay out of the way!

Taurus — Bull (April 20-May 20)
Don't scream in public. It could prove embarrassing.

Gemini — Twins (May 21-June 20)
Control the urge to be a normal person. Be posh instead.

Cancer — Crab (June 21-July 22)
If you eat one pie too many while blinking vigorously it will leave you exhausted!

Leo — Lion (July 23-August 22)
A loved one thinks you are beautiful. Do not be taken in by flattery.

Virgo — Virgin (August 23-September 22)
quit in private when possible. It's difficult to concentrate when people are watching.

Libra— Scales (September 23-October 22)
Avoid yelling at the magic within.

Scorpio — Scorpion (October 23-November 21)
Never loan money to angry hobos! They are poor credit risks.

Sagittarius — Archer (November 22-December 21)
Today is a good day to eat a(n) table.

Capricorn — Goat (December 22-January 19)
You may receive some old firewood from a secret admirer! Water them every day, and they will last a long time.

Aquarius — Water Bearer (January 20-February 18)
Unless you organize your McDonalds coupons better, you won't get anything done.

Pisces — Fish (February 19-March 20)
A good friend will give you $1.874 to buy new hamburgers. Be sure to thank your friend.

HOPE YOU LIKED THIS www.eduplace.com TALE!

RANDOM STORY 3: Tongue Twisters

THIS STORY WAS GENERATED USING THE STORY GENERATOR AT http://www.eduplace.com/tales/


Tongue Twisters

Say each one ten times fast!

The S Twister

A stupid sasquatch screamed sock on the sail boat.

The H Twister

The happy, horrible ham danced with a huge, hairy hamburger.


HOPE YOU LIKED THIS www.eduplace.com TALE!

RANDOM STORY 2: Up close and Personal

THIS IS A GENERATED STORY GENERATED AT http://www.eduplace.com/tales/


Welcome to The Sarah Show! Tonight Sarah will be interviewing Jesse Mcartney.

Sarah: And here's my first guest now. Glad you could join us tonight, Jesse Mcartney. Having you on the show makes me feel gross!

Jesse Mcartney: It makes me feel gross, too, Sarah! It's lovely of you to invite me.

Sarah: There's been a lot of ugly talk about your trip to Tenesse with Taylor Swift. In fact, in today's The Herald, Amanda Frip wrote a column about your trip.

Jesse Mcartney: I read it, but that reporter made up the whole story. Taylor Swift and I have never even been to Tenesse. In fact, we haven't been out of Mississippi for99999999999999999,9999999999,9999999999,9999999999999999999999999999999.1years.

Sarah: Sounds like you were framed.

Jesse Mcartney: That's right. What else would you like to know?

Sarah: Is it true that you own more than 0 dogs?

Jesse Mcartney: I do own dogs, but only two.

Sarah: Well folks, we're out of time. Thanks, Jesse Mcartney. I really enjoyed huggingwith you!

Jesse Mcartney: I enjoyed hugging with you, too!


HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS www.eduplace.com TALE!!!

RANDOM STORY 1: All A Dream

THIS STORY HAS BEEN GENERATED BY A STORY GENERATOR AT http://www.eduplace.com/tales/ .


I fell asleep yesterday listening to an old album that my mom had. I really enjoyed it, though I had a weird dream. It was kind of like one of the old songs.

I've been workin' in Kawau Island,
All the lovely day.
I've been workin' in Kawau Island,
Just to pass the time away.
Don't you hear the whistle licking?
Rise up so early in the morn.
Don't you hear Hannah Montana shouting
Hailey, crammed your horn? ”

Hailey, won't you crammed,
Hailey, won't you crammed,
Hailey, won't you crammed your horn?
Hailey, won't you crammed,
Hailey, won't you crammed,
Hailey, won't you crammed your horn?

Someone's in the bathroom with Hailey.
Someone's in the bathroom, I know.
Someone's in the bathroom with Hailey
Strumming on the old harmonica.

It was the weirdest dream I've had in a long time!

HOPE YOU'VE ENJOYED THIS STORY!!!